[2:33pm]

Y’all, my labmates are going out tomorrow, and invited me to come along. Normally, on Sunday afternoons I just like to come back and nap. Tomorrow, I thought I would go to lab and get some things done also. Anyway, I said yes, but I don’t know, something doesn’t feel right. Something keeps saying that I’m wasting time, I’m wasting money, I shouldn’t be going out, especially when I had planned to work. And, to be honest, I also feel as though maybe I won’t connect with them well outside of lab, y’know? Also, I don’t think any of them are Christian, and I’m a little wary of being surrounded by non-Christians both at work and outside, especially because I’m still new to really being intentional about my faith. Okay, maybe I’m overreacting? I don’t know. But truly, when I dig deep, I can tell that my biggest fear here is the feeling that I’m wasting time. I hate the feeling as though I could have done something more productive, because then I’ll start thinking that if I’m not productive enough, I’ll fail, and my future will be doomed. I don’t want to relax too much. Oh wait a minute, that’s actually the deeper reason. I have seen and continue to see how this belief influences how much I reach out to people and reciprocate their efforts. Sometimes I decline invites because I just want to be alone, or because I feel like it’ll mess with my productivity. 

Also, I keep wondering and looking around to see who exactly I’m meant to allow in my life right now. I get confused a lot at times because sometimes there are genuine reasons not to entertain some people, but I also recognize that I can be pretty judgemental. 

****ASDFGHJKLKJMHNBGVFCDXSZASDFGHYJUKIJHGFDSDFGHJUIKJUHYGTFRD***

I don’t know.

This is not a super life-changing decision, so, I’m going to consciously take a breath and calm down. It’s okay. Lord, please help me.

Today I’m grateful for the run I went on this morning with the other girls from church 🙂 The weather was beautiful and we ran by the beach. I can be pretty intense and competitive about things sometimes, but I really had to learn to slow down and enjoy the moment. I wanted to get all gung-ho about my pace and all that, but I realized along the way that that’s not what it was about. If I was running alone, then maybe it could be, but not on this beautiful morning with these amazing people.

-Moonie x.

Photo Context: What are people’s thoughts on deconstructed burgers (or deconstructed anything)? Personally, I see what it adds aesthetically, but practically, it falls short for me. It was restaurant week this past week, and we went to a place with a view of the beach, with a 2-course meal that was only $30 total! The food was actually really good, high quality stuff so I was really satisfied.