[1:06pm]

No experiments again, today. I asked if I could do one on my own, and my mentor said ‘Yeah if you want, but maybe we could do it Wednesday or Friday, cause I don’t have time to think about it right now.’ Guys, I’m honestly at a loss. I constantly feel like I’m walking on eggshells because I’m not sure what’s expected of me. I don’t feel productive, but I also don’t want to be pushy. I’m not sure if I’m working hard enough, or if I need to do more and be better.

[7:51pm]

I am currently searching for an on-campus job. Dropping that class has freed up a lot of time for me, but now I’m getting antsy and starting to feel like I need to be doing something. I signed up for two volunteer positions which I’m hoping will be a good experience, but now I need to find something that actually pays, y’know? Anyway, it’s been an okay day overall. I have a few things to do before heading to bed, but I’m so grateful to get to sleep on time.

———

This morning, amidst the anxiety starting the week, the uncertainty of my work and life, I remembered this verse: Matthew 6:33 – ‘Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.’ With the way I’ve been feeling so lost, I feel like this is my only way of getting a sense of direction. I’ve been asking God to help me seek Him wholeheartedly, and to increase that desire in my heart. 

-Moonie x.

Photo Context: I have a bad habit of ‘trimming’ my nails with my teeth, especially when I’m stressed/anxious. Recently, I decided I want to grow out my nails, but I reasoned that I needed to keep them painted so that I’m not tempted to bite them. My nail beds are super tiny (which I’m a tad insecure about), and though this doesn’t look like much, this is about a month and a half worth of growth. I also kind of want to get into learning how to do my own nails because nail salon prices in California are INSANE. Necessity is the mother of all invention (or self-learning in this case).